As we enter week 10, we approach the climax of the Fantasy Football season. If there’s a time to go all-in on potential league-winning free agents, make trades, sell high, or buy low, it’s now. Let’s take a look at where our teams sit after 9 weeks of action. The top 6 has started to take shape, but still, only a couple of wins come between the championship and consolation brackets. Sit back and relax as I’ll be giving everyone a scientifically accurate prediction of everyone’s playoff chances based on the world’s most complex algorithm.
1. Nash Money Heroes | Record: 6–3 | Team Owner: Nash
Overview: We’re in the midst of the Dalvin Cook fantasy apocalypse. We’re witnessing league-winning games by the Viking running back along the lines of Todd Gurley, Jamaal Charles, Doug Martin, and Ladanian Tomlinson. Nash is the lucky recipient of this honor, and if the Vikings continue to let Cook run dominate their offense (why would they stop?), we’re all in danger. The rest of his team is no joke either. Generous donations from Sean have given Nash a supporting cast of Julio Jones, Derrick Henry, and Lamar Jackson.
Remaining Schedule (Projection): Benn (L), Michael (W), Dennis (W), Sean (W)
Scientifically accurate chance of making the playoffs: 92%
2. Spicing It Up | Record 6–3 | Team Owner: Ricky
Overview: Despite his lack of a real home run hitter at running back, Ricky keeps finding ways to win. An MVP caliber Aaron Rodgers, the now undisputed best (healthy) tight end in the game Travis Kelce, and solid receiver core of Adam Thielen, DeAndre Hopkins, and diamond-in-the-rough Travis Fulgham make up for the absent ground game. It’s a solid team all around and with a healthy Austin Ekeler potentially making a return soon, it can be a team whose consistent point output can be a real threat in the playoffs.
Remaining Schedule (Projection): Dennis (W), Sean (W), Jacob (L), Shilp (W)
Scientifically accurate chance of making the playoffs: 79%
3. Thou Shenault Pass | Record: 6–3 | Team Owner: Dennis
Overview: Albert may no longer be in our league anymore, but he has passed his spirit on to his friend Dennis. How did we let this man into third place? Shame on everyone, except for me because I actually beat him. The theme all season continues as Dennis week in and week out faces competition that has compiled a league-low 895 points against him. That being said, not everything is due to luck. Patrick Mahomes is having another MVP-type season, and Alvin Kamara is the focal point of a surging Saints offense. Those two are enough to carry this team forward.
Remaining Schedule (Projection): Ricky (L), Shilp (L), Nash (L), Zach (L)
Scientifically accurate chance of making the playoffs: 46%
4. Paid $52 for Baker | Record: 5–4 | Team Owner: Benn
Overview: Benn finds himself in an interesting situation at 5–4. By far the most points scored in the league so far, but he always seems to be in close, high-scoring games. Sometimes the record is not always indicative of the team, and in Benn’s case he should be confident that his roster is capable of consistently great things. Kyler Murray has emerged as the top fantasy QB in the league, dominating in both the air and the ground. NFL receiving yardage leader, touchdown magnets Aaron Jones and Tyreek Hill, and a consistent tight end in Darren Waller round out a stacked roster. Like much of the league, Benn has had a disappointing first-round pick, however, the rest of his draft more than makes up for it.
Remaining Schedule (Projection): Nash (W), Zach (W), David (W), Jacob (W)
Scientifically accurate chance of making the playoffs: 81%
5. 2 Gurleys 1 Kupp | Record: 5–4 | Team Owner: Shilp
Overview: Less talked about over the last few weeks because of Dalvin Cook, Davante Adams has been on absolute fire for Shilp’s squad. With over 400 yards receiving and 4 touchdowns over the past 3 weeks, he is establishing himself as the best receiver in football. Having one guy who can win you any given week is an absolute luxury, and for Shilp, it should be enough to help him coast into the playoffs. The rest of his team isn’t too sexy, but there aren’t any real weaknesses here.
Remaining Schedule (Projection): Michael (W), Dennis (W), Sean (W), Ricky (L)
Scientifically accurate chance of making the playoffs: 74%
6. Calvin and Hines | Record: 5–4 | Team Owner: Jacob
Overview: Jacob’s chances on making the playoffs hinged on his team staying afloat until home-run hitters Christian McCaffrey and Miles Sanders returned from injury. He has done just that. But he may have to hold on for a couple more weeks as CMC injured his shoulder his first week back. Regardless, a deep receiving core should help Jacob stay in contention to defend his title for the rest of the season.
Remaining Schedule (Projection): Sean (W), David (W), Ricky (W), Benn (L)
Scientifically accurate chance of making the playoffs: 69.420%
7. FreshPrinceofHelaire | Record: 4–5 | Team Owner: Zach
Overview: Zach leads the bottom four teams with the best chance to go on a run and sneak into the playoffs. It will take some help, but I can see it coming down to a win-and-get-in game with Dennis in the final week of the fantasy regular season. Deshaun Watson, Tyler Lockett, and Antonio Gibson should all have strong closing quarters to their seasons and propel Zach to more than 66 points a week.
Remaining Schedule (Projection): David (W), Benn (L), Michael (W), Dennis (W)
Scientifically accurate chance of making the playoffs: 43%
8. Mr. Unlimited | Record: 3–6 | Team Owner: David
Overview: It’s been an unlucky season. OBJ and Kittle died. RoJo and JT have had sporadic timeshares in their backfields. Michael Thomas finally returned at least. I’m like Tony Stark trying to build an Ironman suit in a cave with a box of scraps, except I’m not Tony Stark. It will take a miracle 4–0 finish and some help to get into the playoffs, but I’m not getting my hopes up.
Remaining Schedule (Projection): Zach (L), Jacob (L), Benn (L), Michael (W)
Scientifically accurate chance of making the playoffs: 6.9420%
9. Dunces and DK | Record: 3–6 | Team Owner: Sean
Overview: Sean’s chance to defend his grand loser title lives. Unless he wins out, and gets some fortuitous bounces his way, Sean will have to fight his way through the consolation bracket once more. Maybe DK Metcalf will finish the season on a tear and establish himself as the best receiver in football to save Sean’s season. Without that, it’s pretty much over.
Remaining Schedule (Projection): Jacob (L), Ricky (L), Shilp (L), Nash (L)
Scientifically accurate chance of making the playoffs: 5%
10. ‘brees’zy F baby | Record: 2–7 | Team Owner: Michael
Overview: Maybe Nick Chubb will come back on time to help Michael get a win or two somewhere in the next few weeks. It’s been an otherwise uninspiring season for Michael. Even with 4 straight wins to close out the year, Michael will still probably be on the outside looking in. Another casualty of all of the major injuries this year. RIP
Remaining Schedule (Projection): Shilp (L), Nash (L), Benn (L), David (L)
Scientifically accurate chance of making the playoffs: 4.2069%