Hello everyone, and welcome back to another season of Fantasy Football. Somehow through this all, football is back to provide us an escape from all the madness in the world. Let’s hope it lasts. I’ll do my best to avoid ~real world issues~ in these write-ups, but at some point it is inevitable, so apologies in advance. Let’s get right into a recap of each team and the most exciting events through the first 4 weeks of our fantasy season.
10. FreshPrinceofHelaire | Record: 1–3 | Team Owner: Zach
Zach set the tone early on draft night, making a classic Zach move by taking Clyde Edwards-Helaire at #2 overall. It was a bold move, but one that has paid off so far. The exciting rookie running back has put up consistent scoring efforts, but more importantly, has stayed healthy, unlike other 1st round picks. Zach’s penchant for avoiding injuries continued with a trade of Austin Ekeler for Robert Woods. That’s about where his luck ends as Zach finds himself in last place through a quarter of the year, with a paltry 401 total points scored.
9. Mr. Unlimited | Record: 1–3 | Team Owner: David
Week 1 injuries derailed my team from getting off to the start I had hoped for. Seeing Michael Thomas, George Kittle, and most importantly, Younghoe Koo, go down early in the season set the tone for the year ahead. With players coming back healthy, I can finally get a real gauge of what my team actually is, rather than a fantasy version of the Seattle Seahawks that relies on exclusively Russell Wilson to do all the heavy lifting. I finally got a point in the win column with a week 4 that somehow saw me score the highest points in the league. I hope it’s a sign of things to come.
8. ‘brees’zy F baby | Record: 1–3 | Team Owner: Michael
Fantasy football is Monopoly and for Michael, Browns running backs are Park Place and Boardwalk (those are the really good dark blue properties for anyone who doesn’t get the reference). Drafting Kareem Hunt, trading #1 receiver DeAndre Hopkins for Nick Chubb, and spending $30 of his FAAB on D’Earnest Johnson showed an all-in mentality on one backfield. The Browns like to run it early and often, but we’ll see how owning the entire backfield pans out for Michael. I can’t blame him, losing Saquon for the season calls for some desperate measures. Still, with the emergence of Josh Allen as a true MVP candidate, you can’t count this team out.
7. 2 Gurleys 1 Kupp | Record: 2–2 | Team Owner: Shilp
Welcome back Shilp! Your absence last year caused Dennis to invite one of his friends to the party as your replacement. Somehow Dennis found someone more clueless than he is. Somehow we let that person get 2nd place. It’s good to have you back.
As the 2–2 record indicates, there hasn’t been anything too exciting, or too unfortunate to happen to Shilp’s team. A Davante Adams injury derailed an absolutely insane start to the season for the Packers star. His return after the buy should help Shilp’s team break from the middle of the pack.
6. Decaf Metcalf | Record: 2–2 | Team Owner: Sean
Sean enters the fray with reigning league MVP Lamar Jackson, JuJu Smith Schuster with an actual QB throwing him the ball, Derrick Henry who’s Titans may never get to play football again, a crippled Julio Jones, and $63 man Devonta Freeman. It’s an eclectic bunch, but one that has gotten Sean in a position where if the playoffs started today, he’d be in. Honestly a pretty solid team, keep fighting the good fight Sean.
5. Calvin and Hines | Record: 2–2 | Team Owner: Jacob
Our defending champion finds himself at 2–2 after his league winner, Christian McCaffrey, is hobbled and out with a bum ankle. His new league-winner, $63 FAAB signing Nyheim Hines, is not Christian McCaffrey. Still, Jacob finds himself as the second-highest scoring team through 4 weeks. Unfortunate matchups place him with a .500 record, but the ability to score points ultimately prevails over the course of a season. With Dak Prescott having to throw for 500 yards a game only to lose by 14 on his side, along with a plethora of borderline WR 1/2s, it’s up to Jacob’s coaching to stay afloat until CMC returns to save him with his usual 30 points per game.
4. Paid $52 for Baker | Record: 2–2 | Team Owner: Benn
Another season, another write-up where I have to say that Benn is the highest-scoring team in the league. How does he do it? Despite the success, Benn finds himself at 2–2 do to unlucky scheduling. All is made up for, however, because we all got to witness him put a 190 point spanking on Zach. Yeah there’s not much more to say, Benn has once again put together a solid team from top to bottom.
3. Thou Shenault Pass | Record: 3–1 | Team Owner: Dennis
For every unlucky team that scores a bunch of points, but loses because they play a higher scoring team each week, there is a lucky team that scores no points but gets to win 90–72 because Zach sucks. So far that’s Dennis, who has only somehow had 363 points scored against him. Patrick Mahomes and Alvin Kamara will score him enough points to avoid the basement, but no one else really poses a threat on this roster. Sometimes it’s just better to be lucky than good.
2. Spicing It Up | Record: 3–1 | Team Owner: Ricky
I could write a love story about Ricky and Harrison Butker, but I will save it for the online fan fiction forums. Ricky got his usual serving of Kelce, Le’Veon, and Butker that we should expect by now, but sees himself at the top of the league thanks to the return of MVP Aaron Rodgers and a trade that netted him DeAndre Hopkins a day before Nick Chubb landed on IR. Solid start for good ol’ Rick.
- Nash Money Heroes | Record: 3–1 | Team Owner: Nash
Nash finds himself at the number 1 spot after 4 weeks. Solid play from his running back group, Dalvin Cook, Josh Jacobs, Jet McKinnon, and David Johnson, has helped provide consistent high scoring weeks for Nash. It’s up to him to pilot the ship through some turbulence coming his way. Cam Newton is the biggest name to be put on the COVID list, so filling his QB spot until the return of the Patriot QB will make or break some matchups. I think we can safely say Ryan Fitzpatrick won’t be that guy.
Thanks all for reading. I tried my best with limited time, but hope to at least get something out to everyone every couple of weeks. Let’s hope football stays on the menu and we can continue to enjoy this stupid game we like to invest way too much time into. Appreciate all of you, stay safe and healthy out there.